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What Do You Get?
Rewards include access to the Skills for Changemakers Patron-Only Facebook Group, a monthly Trust-Based Relationships Group Call, a monthly Coaches & Practitioners Working Group, and unlimited online classes. If there is a reward listed here that you want, get pledging!
A Google Calendar lists all the upcoming group meetings currently scheduled.
How to Live Without Expectations
Recently someone on Facebook asked the question, "I hear about letting go of my expectations all the time, but I don't hear much about how to do it. How do you let go of your expectations?"
What a great question! From my perspective, expectations are natural byproducts of a brain constantly scanning for danger and creating scenarios based on the past to predict the future. In a life or death situation, we rely on our capacity for analyzing our historic experiences to anticipate bad things that might happen to us, or even remember and cultivate good things, like where we might find our next meal more easily.
Yet most middle class people aren't in non-stop survival mode, and our survival reflexes don't help us solve the problems we usually face.(1)
So our survival reflexes end up getting triggered by our social experiences, instead of by physical danger and survival. This is a bit of a disaster for us as social animals, because we end up having bodily fight/flight responses to what are often relatively innocuous social transactions.
When people talk about "letting go of expectations," it is often in the context of romantic relationships. In romantic relationships, our expectations might lead us to experience hope and then disappointment if our hopes go unrealized. We hope that we might get what we want and need from our relationships, and we feel disappointed when we don't get our needs met, or even when getting what we want feels less satisfying than we imagined.
I think it's not expectations we need to let go of -- it's natural to predict the future based on past events. We need to stop when our attachment to an outcome turns into a bid for control. It's okay to want what we want, and normal to feel disappointed when we don't get it. It's when we start power playing to get what we want that things get complicated.
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To Patron or Not to Patron?
If you're wondering whether to become a Patron, here are some questions:
If you answered any or all of these questions YES, becoming a Patron might be ideal for you. I aim to put out a minimum of two THINGS per month. What that means is two posts that contain valuable Skills for Change information, mostly writing and video, sometimes audio.
Almost certainly! I sometimes cross-post my Patreon posts and videos on Facebook and Instagram, as well as in the Trust-Based Relationships Facebook Group. The difference is that Patrons receive an email notification for every THING I release, so you get to see it first. I also post information about classes and special offerings to Patrons FIRST. If there's a limited offer, Patrons will have dibs.
My classes are open to anyone! I offer class pricing on my Ruzuku class pages, and you can sign up there, via the class page on my website. BUT, and this is important, the price per class is vastly more than you will pay if you become a Patron. You both get to support me to make THINGS, and you also get to take lots of classes from me at a really affordable price.
If you become a Patron at an unlimited level, I will invite you to join every online course I teach, automatically when the course gets created! That's an amazing deal!
Click here to become a Patron! Choose your reward level, and THIS IS IMPORTANT: Make sure you CAP your pledge on a monthly basis! Otherwise, if you pledge $X per THING, you will end up paying $2X for a month in which I put out two THINGS. I've made two or more things a month at times, so your pledge will add up quick! I will catch it if you forget to cap your pledge, and I can refund you if you give more than you intended, but it makes things lots easier if you remember to CAP your pledge MONTHLY!!!
Here's a sample of a Skills for Changemakers Patreon Post!
Become a Patron!
Become a Patron
A Little History of My Patreon Launch
In 2017, I decided to make a big commitment to my online classes. I'd been considering a way for folks to take unlimited classes from me via a subscription, and wasn't sure how I wanted to manage it.
I'd already helped many folks start their own Patreon pages, and I knew Patreon was a great tool for supporting artists. I hoped my business model would work on Patreon, but I wasn't sure. It felt like a big risk to ask clients to commit to a monthly subscription service; I knew that Patreon would help me focus my creative energy on the process of creation rather than on the process of marketing, and it would also help me create an online community.
Patreon has been an absolute success. I am so glad I made the leap, and because their model supports me to make THINGS, I've been much more creative as a result. If you are curious about Patreon, you can click here and read more about the rewards I offer Patrons, as well as the whole direct-support funding model that Patreon offers to artists and creators.