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Emotionally, jealousy is one of the tough feelings we deal with as humans.
Jealousy can make us feel crazy and might motivate us to do things we are later ashamed we did. When we feel jealous, we often seek to stop the feeling by controlling our external environment, whether it be other people, our triggers, and especially ourselves and our behaviors. Yet this attempt to control often leaves us feeling even more out of control, and worse, our bids for control can destroy our relationships and our peace.
In this course, we will understand where jealousy comes from and what we can do about it. Jealousy is a compound emotion; this means it is made up of other, less complex emotions. Often jealousy has more than one source, and we must discover jealousy's multiple components in order to manage it. We will begin to identify the underlying felt-sense of jealousy, the compound emotions that create feelings of jealousy, and the needs underneath the feelings. Finally we will make a plan to address the various needs we reveal. Our plan might include setting dignified boundaries, agreeing to standards for shared resources, having conversations for clearing held feelings and stories, and implementing practices that help us feel empowered, mature and safe.
This is a very short introduction to jealousy. It is unlikely that this class will dispel someone's jealousy within two weeks. Yet the understanding that we uncover will provide the foundation for a process that will leave us feeling self-aware, self-compassionate, self-trusting and self-loving.
"We can learn to distinguish amongst our overwhelming feelings to create a plan that will help us shift the jealousy so we can feel greater ease and perhaps even "compersion", the pleasure of witnessing the enjoyment of others."
"Our struggle to cope with feelings of powerlessness can make all the underlying unmet needs below the surface feel overwhelming. We can learn to dispel the confusion and soothe the pain caused by loss, grief and disappointment."